In this balanced episode, RJ Campbell and Dustin Hoog, Co-founders of The Balanced Business Dad, shares how they help business dads create a thriving business that doesn’t control them, enjoy a passionate marriage and kids that adore them, and create healthy relationships that last a lifetime. He uses the 6 Pillars which are Faith, Health, Marriage, Fatherhood, Brotherhood, and Business to have a balanced family life.
You will discover:
– The surprising truth about what Balance really is
– Why it is so hard to achieve balance
– What the six pillars of balance are
Episode Transcript
Scott Ritzheimer
Hello, hello and welcome. Welcome once again to the secrets of the high demand coach. And today we’ve got to call it the secrets of the high demand coach is because we have our first ever do a guest combination here today with RJ and Dustin, who are co founders of the balanced business dad movement alongside with the balanced business dad podcast. Now the balanced business dad is composed of business owner, husbands and fathers who are coming together with the goal of helping each other balance our six pillars of life, and the dad up council was created to encourage its members to be better tomorrow than you were today. Well, gentlemen, it’s so exciting to have you here. Just for everyone watching to kind of level set here. Let’s get away from RJ. And away from Dustin. We’re all set. Fantastic. And so I’d love to start just tell us the what’s the story behind all of this? How did you guys meet? How did you ultimately decide to go into to co found this project, and also the podcast together?
RJ Campbell
Oh, it’s a great story. Let me just start, you could start off, I’ll add some input.
Dustin Hoog
There you go. RJ and I actually worked together in a corporate job that we both had years ago, probably 11 years ago. Life was completely different for me at that time. And you know, we stayed kind of close saw each other on LinkedIn, that kind of thing. After that position in corporate America, I went self employed full time from then on, as in real estate, and as a coach and other other business ventures that I am a part of. And obviously we sounds weird, but he reached out. We’re like, hey, let’s get lunch. And at that time, I was coaching a lot of new real estate investors to start building a rental portfolio, I have a pretty robust rental portfolio. And I think I wanted to help other people do that. Well, we got together for lunch, he started asking me all these questions, which was not really the point of lunch, but he became interested in it. And I started coaching him and his wife to build their business when it comes to rental portfolios. And it was interesting at that time, because we started developing a pretty close friendship. But as he was, for lack of better word, using me to coach them in business, I was looking to him as a mentor as a husband and a father. So I have small young kids by and I’m actually closer to his kids his age than I am is a so he has no been married for 35 years, his wife still seems to like him, I question that, but still seems like him. And his kids are just all great. And I’m like, I want that. And I have I one of my lessons in life is you know, stand on the shoulders of giants. And that’s what he was to me. Someone with a successful marriage, successful kids, and I wanted that. So I was using him as a mentor as a husband and father. And that’s kind of how we, you know, this all came about? Honestly, I’ve been coaching for a long time. And one of my coaches because yes, I believe all good coaches have coaches asked the question, and it was, who’s your avatar coaching client? And without hesitation, I said the business dad, because that’s who I was. And at that time, RJ and I, you know, the balance business dad was formed at a bar.
RJ Campbell
At a bar, like all great stories. This one really starts on a bar. After a real estate meeting. Yeah.
Dustin Hoog
And we started talking and that this was, I believe, God put this on my heart. And I didn’t know what it was. And if I wanted to coach business, dads, the word dad in there, I knew I wanted RJ along with him because he was my mentor as a father. And we started just, I mean, you can take it if you like, was good.
RJ Campbell
Yeah, life was good for both of us. We had good careers. We had good marriages. Good. You had young kids, I had grown kids. But we start chatting. And we realized that there’s Yes, it’s good. But it’s just it’s not perfect. And some things are just a little bit out of whack. That’s the word we used over and over and over. A lot of that is prioritizing business over everything else. And that conversation then turned into grabbing napkins and menus and borrowing pens and sketching out which what became the ballasts business to had, that’s where we built the six pillars, where we thought, okay, if we’re kind of out of balance, what should we be working on at balancing? We agree we’re never in balance. And that’s where we the six pillars in order of priority to us is you have to bet work on your faith. Then your health, your marriage, fatherhood, and then brotherhood and then business that I’m going to say okay, we say him so much tend to miss him. So that and what we realize is most people are focusing on that last one business because we were around somebody entrepreneurs.
Dustin Hoog
And I had coached so many guys, so many people out there that were so focused on the business, but their how their their life was just a shamble. Man, hey, they made that next, you know, they got that next deal done. I’m like, we got to fix this. And that’s honestly why we do call this a movement, because we want to fix that in the world.
RJ Campbell
we wanted to fix it for ourselves. And then once we developed what this was and what we call the data framework, then it’s I call that we need to get this out to other business dads, we need to share this. And a podcast was launched.
Scott Ritzheimer
That’s cool. So I want to pick up on something there’s kind of early in the story here. And this is this idea of kind of cross coaching, or even co mentoring. And there, there’s a, there was a very famous fall of a very famous pastor, and the names don’t matter the patterns there all the time. And one of the things he said is, if they don’t have it, he was talking about whether or not someone could mentor me. So if they don’t have a church, that’s more than 5000 people, there’s nothing I can learn from them. And, and, you know, I don’t think that same individual would say that same thing today. But there’s this idea that we’ve got to be coached by people who are who are bigger and better than us and further down the road. And we almost kind of insert into that in every way. But you guys didn’t do that you both found an opportunity to learn from each other. How important is that to our success, both as entrepreneurs and as dads?
Dustin Hoog
I think it’s huge, right? I mean, the amount of people I learned from that are not even in the realm of what I want to do is huge. I mean, the coach I have today, my you know, personal one on one coach that is not doing this is not running a podcast is not running seven other businesses. And yet he’s coaching me and mentoring me because a coach and a mentor, they see what’s around the corner before you do. Right, they can help you self aware by the right questions and things like that. And so I’ve never really cared where they’re at on their journey. As long as they can help me along with mine.
RJ Campbell
Then I look at that this groups and not necessarily a coach, because I’m too old to have had coaches as we joke about when I was young that didn’t exist except your coach at your football team or basketball team. But always looking just for somebody who’s ahead of you, I always try to have three sets of peers are types of coaches. I like to be around people like Dustin, that are 2030 years younger than me on the same path. I like to compare myself, what are they doing that I did or didn’t do? And would that have put me in a different place now. So I might be able to self correct or just learn something there. My second group is people that are truly peers, men that are my age, about 60 kids are grown out of the house, or close to being out of the house, that type of thing. And then my third group is Yeah, who, who is that person I come out of that’s already done this. Who is that? Man? That’s 10 years ahead of me. So that’s what we try to offer. And what we have, because we have young men we have seasoned as he calls me is this adjective? Because it is more than just that, man. That’s, you know, 10 years down the road. I have you.
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah. Yeah. So what would you say that is some of the most important work you guys are doing right now?
Dustin Hoog
Oh, well, I believe the most important work anybody can do is on themselves, first of all, and you know, really look into yourselves to make yourself better. Now, that being said, what does our organization do with the worker organization is doing is I actually did a video about this 10 minutes ago, yet, the reality of it is, is we’re going to work harder for other people than we will ourselves. Right, as, as we’ve been discovering, doing, you know, work for the guy or men in coaching men and mentoring men, what we realize is, it’s really a challenge for a guy to raise their hand and say, yep, I do need a better marriage. I do need to have better relationships with my kids, even though they want it. And it’s so important. They don’t raise their hand as much as I say, Hey, would you like to make an extra million dollars this year? I get hands all over the place when I talk about that. So it’s very hard for this guy to say yes to personal development. Personal development is not a norm, which I didn’t know that honestly, I was so embedded in it as a trained coach, but it’s not a norm. So I think but uh, but a man if I call and say, Hey, a tree fell in my house, and I need help. Get 30 guys there tomorrow, right? They’re all going to help you because a man needs a mission. When I think that the work we’re doing is to let the guys and the dads out there know is that they are the mission. They have to start with themselves first, because the people who loves them the most deserve it. Right, my wife and kids, my my employees, my community deserve me at my best. So I have to focus on myself. And that’s what we’re helping these guys to.
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah. And for you guys, what would you say? Like what is balance it because that can mean a lot of things. And you guys have even kind of alluded to this fact that there’s always a little more balance available, it’s a journey that we’re on. So help us give us kind of a working definition for balance and, and when to have an idea of when we’re either moving toward it or moving away from it.
RJ Campbell
Right! Yeah, we get, we get a lot of questions on that. It seems to be the term that people don’t like anymore, your work life balance. So that referred to work life integration, which we do believe in. So we talk about balance, as it’s a verb, we’re not balanced, we’re never balanced. And we like to say simply is being balanced, can just be present in what of those, which are the pillars you’re working on at the moment. That’s to us is focusing on your balance. And it may put other pillars out of balance at the moment, you could be on a strong health journey. people that listen to the podcast know, Dustin’s, well during that year, other parts of your life are going to be a little bit less prioritized. So you would call that out balanced. But we like to think that balance is you are where your feet are. If you’re a church, you’re focused on your faith, let’s not be thinking about your p&l don’t have your phone out. Same thing when you’re home and you’re with your kids. It’s dad time. Let’s be your present right there. be balanced in that one. And then it’s just a general overall, of course, awareness. Are you getting out of whack somewhere in your life?
Dustin Hoog
Awareness is very big when it comes to being balanced, right? Because, again, they’re not balanced. But while you’re balancing, you have to be aware of your thoughts, you have to be aware of where your time is being spent. You know, in our counsel, we talk a lot about that we have self assessments, you know, what’s what’s going well, where do you need to spend more time and less time or, you know, if something just been totally throw it off, and you’re not even looking into it right now, because you’re so focused on it. So I think, again, being where your feet are, like RJ said, and then being so self aware, you know, awareness is transformational? Because once you’re aware, you don’t see it. That’s that’s how we get this. But it is a journey, a journey.
Scott Ritzheimer
And why why is it that it’s so hard to achieve? What Why is it a journey? Why isn’t it somewhere that we arrive? And then stay? Right? Why is like, Why do you think it’s such a challenge, particularly for dads today to keep these six pillars in balance?
RJ Campbell
Boy, they’re just so many distractions, there are so many people pulling us in so many different directions, I that’s the biggest part to me, of where the out of balance comes from. Just a lot of distractions, so that this moment, it’s your business and what you’re going through there. And then the kids are over on the weekend, or I mean, it just goes from one to the next night that that’s why she’s constantly fluid. They’re all just a continuum that just keeps moving up and down with all six of them.
Dustin Hoog
I think because your growth and bolt and growth is messy. Right, John Maxwell talks about like, if you’re not growing, you’re dying, right? So if we do stay at a very balanced level, that means nothing’s happening. And I don’t think any of us want that. Right. You know, if we have kids, they’re gonna grow by first graders challenges today are not going to be his third grade challenges. Right. So different things are gonna happen with that the challenges that we were having in business today aren’t going to be the challenges. I sure intend for them not to be the same challenges because there’s no growth thing. Right? So I’m gonna say a lot of it’s because of growth, which is a good thing.
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah. Yeah, pushing us into the uncharted territory, if you will, on our own journey, at least. Fortunately, folks, like you have have a map of the journey as a whole. So alright, here’s the question I like to ask everybody. I’m going to start with you, RJ. And then I’m asked the same question, a question of you, Dustin. So you get a little bit of a head head start on this one. But RJ, what would you say is the biggest secret that you wish wasn’t the secret at all? What’s that one thing that you wish every business that out there listening today knew?
RJ Campbell
Oh, wow. Well, this was a business one. Because that, you know, I have a partnership in businesses with my wife. And what I have learned is they don’t want secrets. I used to think that if things were bad or not great in the business, I didn’t want to share that. I don’t want to burden her with it. Then when I ruined so what I realized that and I think a lot of guys are like that. When I finally opened up and said, Hey, we need to talk about these six items, whatever that is one totally freeing on my part. And on hers because she could sense there was something not right. And I’m trying to hide it to protect her. But it was just the opposite. To say, what’s what’s off? What’s a little bit that’s off. And once you open that up, man, it becomes that true 5050 discussion. She’s glad to take that burden. So dads, husbands, when you’re having that thought, even if it’s not business related, could just be in the household finances, whatever they want. They want to be your partner. Don’t keep that secret. That only took me 30 years of marriage to figure that one out.
Dustin Hoog
I’m going to add something to that. They probably have a better answer.
RJ Campbell
That is so true. That is absolutely what I’ve learned. Their answer is simple. And to the point on topic.
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah, that’s so good. All right. And so Dustin, Europe as well, same question, what’s the biggest secret you wish wasn’t a secret at all? What’s that one thing that you wish every business dad out there listening or watching today knew?
Dustin Hoog
Growth is not natural. You have to push through it. Personal development does not come to you. You have to work for it. And you have to push at it. And you have to go for it. Because society doesn’t teach us about it. A lot of schools don’t teach us about it. This is something you have to go out and you have to get. there’s help out there. But it’s not going to come natural.
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah. Yeah. So good, gentlemen. So I know there’s some folks listening today. Probably some wives saying like, yes, like, we need this. And there’s also some dads out there saying it’s just, if I could get around a group of guys like this, I know it would change me. So tell us more about balance business doubt, and how they can find out more about it.
Dustin Hoog
Yeah, absolutely. So it has a couple things, because sometimes it’s the wife pushing them to us. Because the wife’s like, No, you do need help. You’re not going to raise your hand. So but a couple of things. So obviously we do have we have a podcast as well called The Balanced Business Dad you can look at that any of your podcast listeners, I think that’s the catchphrase. Also, we have a free Facebook group. On the balance business dad that go, you can go to dadupgroup.comc And get that free invitation to go there. And you can join these conversations that we’re having with, you know, over 400 Dads now I think now just truly truly talking about what’s going on. Just don’t do it alone. And that’s dadupgroup.com
Scott Ritzheimer
Fantastic. Well, gentlemen, thank you so much for being on the show today. Thank you so much for what you built and what you’ve shared. It’s really really fun to see what you guys are doing and I’m so excited about the future for both you and the men that you’re serving so, so diligently so thank you and for everyone watching listening today. You know your time and attention mean the world to us. I hope you got as much out of this conversation as I know I did. And I cannot wait to see you next time. Take care.
Contact RJ Campbell and Dustin Hoog
After 35+ years in corporate America, R.J Campbell have exited that path to focus fully on developing businesses as an entrepreneur and business owner. He currently owns multiple businesses like Arch City Photos which is a real estate photography business that he has built in the St. Louis, MO market. RJ and Dustin are the co-founders of The Balanced Business Dad movement along with The Balanced Business Dad podcast. The Balanced Business Dad is composed of business owner husbands and fathers who are coming together with the goal of helping each other balance our Six Pillars of Life. The DAD UP Council was created to encourage its members to “Be Better Tomorrow Than You Were Today.”
Want to learn more about RJ and Dustin’s work at The Balanced Business Dad? Check out their website and podcast at https://www.thebalancedbusinessdad.com/ and join their community of over 400 business dads at dadupgroup.com
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