In this breakthrough episode, John Cottrell, Founder of Breakthrough Leadership, shares how he helps his clients through the process of ‘Breakthrough Leadership’ which identifies and addresses the root cause of his clients’ challenges, so they can achieve self-mastery and optimum performance.

You will discover:

– Why the ‘strong silent type’ is bad for business
– How to overcome imposter syndrome once and for all
– How to create lasting breakthrough that will improve every area of your life

Episode Transcript

Scott Ritzheimer

Hello, hello and welcome. Welcome once again to the secrets of the high demand coach. I’m here with yet another high demand coach. And that is John Cottrell. He specializes in executive leadership coaching and helped successful leaders to obtain what money cannot buy. Things like renewed confidence killing off impostor syndrome once and for all are simply giving them the gift of being happy. Again, John leans on a wide variety of principles and methodologies, which all come together to generate transformational results through driven action. And now with over 11 years of experience within coaching he’s experienced in his craft, and his proven coaching techniques have seen him amass a long list of accolades and references. And I can attest to that I looked up John Cottrell
on a Google search before we started. And it was just award after award after award after award. So a very decorated career, a wide range of techniques. I’m really interested in diving in on that. But first, I just want to say welcome to the show. John, I’m excited to have you here. And before we get into all of that, and how you help your clients, I’d love to hear what were you doing before coaching? And how did that ultimately lead you to make the leap?

John Cottrell

Yeah, thanks, Scott. And it’s, it’s great to be here. I was running a consultancy firm with some friends, helping transform larger businesses predominantly focused on their productivity. And one day, the client said, and we were in Eastern Europe at the time in Slovakia, and the client said, Oh, we really like your coaching. And at the time, I said to him, Well, what do you mean? Because I thought we were being smart consultants by getting the clients to do the work. And they said, Well, we really liked the fact that you sit with our people, they learn, and they get to do the stuff themselves. And then they can do it without you. And you seem very happy to let them take the credit for what you’ve taught them, which goes down even better. And that particular business, I think it turned over the equivalent. I mean, there No, it wasn’t in the Euro back in those days, but it’s about 100 million euro business. So it wasn’t a small business by conventional standards. It was doing a little better than breakeven. And I think we took it to 24 million euros of profit, on about the same turnover. So there was a lot of hidden potential in that business. And that was the first time a client had used the word coaching to me. And that’s what if you like lit the fuse for what happened next?

Scott Ritzheimer

Yeah. Fascinating. So there’s a handful of words that we some folks use, really specifically some folks use a little bit more loosely. But as you’re kind of making the shift from a consultancy, to coaching, what was the difference in those two words, for your experience?

John Cottrell

Yeah, so a lot of consultancy firms sell dates. And we didn’t we sold the result. So we had a subsistence fee, which the clients are realized, you know, they’re not stupid people they realize that pays our mortgages and pays for our airfares. But at the end of the project, if we didn’t deliver the result, we’d have nothing to show for maybe two years worth of work. So we were on the hook with them for the result they wanted to achieve. And sometimes we really struggled to get a result if we couldn’t engage the client properly. Too much of them being stuck in their own comfort zones. And other times, we blew the result completely out of the water. One client didn’t actually have enough money in his budget to pay us until the following year. So we’d get all kinds of stuff. So that’s the consulting game. The coaching game is much more bite sized insight. So you’re working with a client far less intensively. And again, that was another client and insight when I was at a client’s office, and he was ranting down the phone at somebody. And we’re all thinking, Oh, we might be next for whatever’s coming from this guy that’s not in a very good mood. And he goes, Oh, that was the other mob. And I said, What are the mob? I guess are they’re terrible. Whenever they’re here, I have to spend all my time with them, and I can’t get my job done. And we’re like, oh, and he said, whereas you guys you get in and you get stuff going and you leave me alone. It’s fantastic. We thought, Oh, that’s interesting. So, you know, if you listen, the clients are telling you what they want. What he wanted was, I’ve got my own job to do. I can’t have you justifying yourself by stealing my time. And coaching is brilliant at being that little bite size bit of insight they need on a sale weekly or fortnightly basis and then get on with the rest of what they want to do. And that’s how I saw it when I was coming into the coaching game.

Scott Ritzheimer

Fantastic. What would you say today now that you’re coaching and have been doing it for a long time now? What would you say is the most important work you do for your clients today?

John Cottrell

What I call emotional resolution. So what that is, is if you go back to the work of Abraham Maslow. And when Maslow first did his research, he he reckoned that he couldn’t find enough self actualized people to study, they just didn’t exist. So most adult humans are unresolved people, they are people who really can only take care of their own needs, they don’t really see or understand the needs of others. And one of the big box texts about being a result person is your ability to see and understand the needs of another human being well. And so that’s that one step changes everything for somebody. And if they’re running a business, it changes everything for all the people they employ. And all the people that have relationships with their children, their, you know, their spouse, their parents, you know, wider family changes everything.

Scott Ritzheimer

Yeah. And, and as I was kind of researching what you do, I noticed that you do spend a lot of time working on what I would call the whole person, right? It’s not just the kind of business coaching, I’m going to help you double your profits kind of thing. There’s a lot of techniques that you had in that included therapy, which many coaches I know wouldn’t touch with 1000 foot pole, right. So tell me a little bit about how you’ve navigated this world of coaching, one on one coaching, team coaching and therapy and how you bring those two modalities together.

John Cottrell

Yeah, so I, I try not to use the word coach, actually. And I, because, you know, people say, Oh, you’re a business coach. And so well, no, I’m not I used to be, but I’m not doing that anymore. But I’m also not a therapist in the sense of being said, qualified psychotherapist. And what I do is based on largely timeline therapy, which was developed by white wood small and the guy that passed away last year, whereas his book is somewhere, that James, and it was, I would say, it was discovered by a series of experiments that were done, I think, in California in the United States. And that was about 35 years ago. And then there’s a but, and the but is that most of that world is focused on training people to train people. So the people are earning their money by training others, they’re not really earning their money by working with the people. And I decided I didn’t want to be a trainer and repeat the same stuff every week, what I wanted to do was work with people. So my focus became breakthrough. And then I looked at what other bodies of knowledge I needed to access to feed into that process to make it more effective. And I’ve not been afraid of going to sign up with people to get a deeper level of training. I’ve done that with somebody who was directly connected with tad James, a very good trainer. But I was able to see and compare how he does things with some of my innovations, and why some of what he does is really good. And where in other places, I’m significantly better because I’ve changed the method, based on my experience of working with people to make it more effective.

Scott Ritzheimer

Yeah. Have you found the kind of hard charging executive that you tend to work with? How did they kind of ease into or like slam into those types of modalities? It doesn’t tend to be hard work to get them to recognize how it’s all it all comes together? Or does it tend to float well?

John Cottrell

Yeah, so I don’t tend to tell the client what I’m doing. So what I say to them is this, the brighter you are, the harder you’re likely to fight me. So I’m deliberately vague, because I need to help you not fight you. And if you’re okay with that, then we’re good to go. So I’m literally trying to keep their their ego, their Chimp, if you like, quiet while I go in round the back and sort it out without the chimp knowing. Yeah, it’s that kind of thing. But for most men in particular, getting emotional is the last thing they want. Because they see it as a sign of weakness. society expects men to be you know, the strong silent type. But actually, that causes a huge amount of problems. And for those guys prepared to sort of step over the threshold, and let go their emotions, their worlds change. I did one recently a guy in the finance world, whose friends and business associates have all noticed that he’s happier, and he’s lost weight. So they’re all asking him about his weight loss. But he hasn’t really gone into the depth of what he’s done. He just said, Well, I feel I’m feeling good, I don’t need to drink, you know, I’m fine. But actually, under the surface, he let go of a ton of stuff. And most of that the root of it was bullying at school. And the number of, you know, 40, and 50 year old still carrying the scars from their school days is is phenomenal. And, of course, you know, that wasn’t anything he did wrong. It was something that happened to him. And this is Oprah’s book with Dr. Steve Perry. It’s actually called What happened to you? And that’s the key question. It’s not what’s wrong with you, it’s actually what happened to you is the issue. Well, so that’s what I get into with my clients is what happened to you, let’s help you release that. And then as you become resolved through letting go of those unmet basic needs, that’s what Maslow would recognize that you start to move up in terms of your own level of personal development and consciousness, you see more how the world works. And that allows you to become more effective, whether you’re a business owner or an executive, coach, whatever you’re doing.

Scott Ritzheimer

Yeah. So you’ve touched on a big issue that a lot of men in the business world fight with is getting to an emotional place, what would you say is one of the big challenges for for female executives and leaders?

John Cottrell

Oh, okay. That’s a really interesting question. Because I would say, as a general rule, I know we’re generalizing here. As a general rule, women take to the work much more easily than men. Particularly if it’s a husband and wife, team, the wife will get it and we’ll be encouraging the husband. That’s, that’s quite common. And then I get the one funny instance was a man said to me, Well, you know, I’ve got no idea. So it doesn’t really feel any different to me. Fortunately, for me, his wife was standing next to him. And she goes, What do you mean, it’s not different, and went on a rant about the fact that homework was getting done. There was no shouting at home, things were nice and peaceful. He was helping out with the kids. So all this stuff that changed lives, like was just the same as ever. So that was quite funny that he was still sort of in denial, having let go and act it. What’s the word access to more peaceful life? His family and his kids knew that he was like, No, I’m just the same. And I think the reason he was doing that was because he wanted to keep his distance from his own past. You know, he had a terrible past nothing to do with him, or that he’d done anything wrong. But some people if they have to notice the difference, they have to acknowledge that past and that’s the last thing they want to do. Yeah. Yeah. So it is understandable, because it still allows us to smile about it.

Scott Ritzheimer

Yeah. Another topic that it’s seems you spend a lot of time working with folks on is imposter syndrome. And yeah, I think to a lot of folks who are not may be a more female one, Scott. Okay. Yeah. So and that’s where I was going with that. And it seems like no one’s exempt from imposter syndrome. I think it shows up all over the place. But what I found is that particularly female entrepreneurs, especially not it’s not even especially but just throughout their careers, there’s that constant outside in, right. And, and so what is it? What is it that causes that? And how can folks overcome it?

John Cottrell

Okay, so I, you know, this goes right back to girls and boys at school. So I don’t know what’s in the US, but certainly in the UK, girls are being seen to be doing better at school than boys. Yeah. And there’s this need that they seem to have to want to do well, to get it right. And all of that, whether that’s a societal thing, or a genetic thing, I couldn’t tell you. But what comes out in behavior is a series of limiting beliefs. It might not be, you know, I’m not good enough. I don’t deserve it. All kinds of things like that. And now, I think society puts more on women in many ways. So we have to unpack that to enable that woman to release it. And then once they’ve releasing it, and I’ve worked with one I forget how many degrees she had, but I think it was at least three graduate degrees and still believe that she wasn’t good enough. And everybody else thought she was amazing. And yeah, there’s these deep rooted things from childhood that She was building on top of rather than releasing from underneath, and we had to go in and release that. They will her to become who she really was. Because when you when you’re running impostor syndrome, you’re almost denying yourself. And it’s really important for people to understand the you, you need to have that healthy relationship with yourself. And, and when you actually embrace who you really are, and how good you really are, again, everything changes.

Scott Ritzheimer

Yeah, and I would say, you know, even one of the traps that that folks can get themselves into with impostor syndrome is, it’s not worth me fixing this, because I’ve got, I’ve got other people to take care of. Right. And, and the reality of it is, I mean, you know, this, the reality of it is that the more you take care of yourself, the more capable you are of taking care of others, which I think brings us back to that point you’re making the beginning of, and I love the way you said, uh, correct me if I’m wrong, but that most adults out there cannot see and understand the needs of another human being because they have not resolved their own emotional makeup themselves. Is that Is that right?

John Cottrell

Yeah. Yeah. It’s terrible. Isn’t it?

Scott Ritzheimer

It’s scary. But But again, the impact of that, right, if you want to take care of others, which, which for many executives, despite the kind of hard charging stereotype is so true, right, there’s so many executives out there who want to take care of their team who want to take care of their family. And and I think you’ve really, really tapped into something remarkable, and on how to create that kind of breakthrough. Now, there’s a question I want to ask me, we kind of put a bow on all of this. And it’s a question I like to ask all my guests. And it’s this, what is the biggest secret that you wish wasn’t a secret at all? What’s that one thing that you wish everybody listening today knew?

John Cottrell

It’s that emotion is the cause of everything. So just to expand a little bit, what happens in a threat situation of any kind is our unconscious act primarily to protect us, it then suppresses that emotion, and keeps us keeps it physically in the body for resolution when it gets safer. And the problem is, it never gets safer. So it’s acting on us. On our belief systems, and on our physical health, when we’re completely unaware of it, very often, we find that we took a decision as a small child that still acts on us as a mature adult. And yet, we have no idea of the decision that the child took. I’ve taken so many people back, I’ll give you an example. An accountant running a nice little business, but would never implement anything with her team. And I got the idea that what it was was she wasn’t speaking up. So the reason they weren’t doing what she wanted was because she wasn’t actually telling them. So then I thought, Well, why are you not speaking up? The only reason why you wouldn’t is if you were scared to? Would that be the logical thing? Okay, why wouldn’t Why would I be scared to? Well, probably for someone shouted at me when I did earlier in my life. So I said to How was life at home? Our Mum and Dad said Mum and Dad were loving. I had a really amazing childhood. I went Okay, how about figures of authority about school teachers. She was just about to go, Well, that was all and then she went, Oh, there was this physics teacher. I said, Oh, tell me about him. He was awful. used to shout at people. He used to throw things he used to hit people. And then she said, I said, Well, what did you learn from him? To keep my bloody mouth shut? When Oh, and then the lips went, you know, Charlie Brown cartoons when they all go wobbly like this. Yeah, she was doing that. She goes, Oh, and being an accountant. You know, I feel really emotional. I said, Okay, as and she goes, Uh, you tell me. That’s it. I said when you tell me, but that’s what it was. So from 11 to early 50s. Call it 51. That’s 14 years of keeping quiet because a teacher frightened her when she was a little girl. And there’s no way you can blame the 11 year old for that right? That was a sensible decision to avoid having something thrown at her or being clobbered or shouted out. But it was still working for two years later. And there’s loads of stories like that.

Scott Ritzheimer

Wow, wow, stunning. There’s there’s so much in there and what a great great story to pull it all together. I want to shift gears kind of one final time and then we’ll make sure we share how folks can get in touch with you but I’m gonna actually have you take off your coach hat your your therapist hat your you know, fill in the blank break through hat for a moment, put on your CEO hat and talk to us a little bit about what the next stage of growth looks like for you and your biz. So what challenges you might have to overcome to get there?

John Cottrell

Yeah, so I’m driven by a vision. So I have a vision for my 80th birthday. And creating a more resolve world. That’s what I want to achieve. I want to achieve a world where we don’t talk about mental health problems, because we realize it’s not mental. It’s not something people got wrong in their head. It’s not a health problem. Needing medicine, just emotion is really simple strategies we can implement to get rid of it. And the more people we resolve, the better societies were going to have, which are going to take in turn, take better care of the environment, and the planet we all live on. So for me, if I’m looking at what role I can play, that’s what’s driving me. That’s that’s the that’s my big picture of what I see the future.

Scott Ritzheimer

That’s awesome. Remarkable. What a future that would be. So, John, before I let you go here, I know that some folks are listening and that they’re resonating with I mean, there’s so many points that you’ve made along the way. So how can folks find more out about your work or or how to get in contact with you?

John Cottrell

Yeah, so my website is breakthroughleadership.co.uk. I think I’m fairly easy to find on LinkedIn. Obviously, we’re connected I think, Scott’s that’s a that’s an easy second connection. Probably. Those are the two two easiest ways. And my email address is [email protected] rather than.com

Scott Ritzheimer

Excellent. Well, John, it was just an absolute pleasure having you on. So appreciate both what you do and you taking the time to be here with us today. And for those of you listening you know your time and attention mean the world to us. I hope you got as much out of this conversation as I know I did, and I cannot wait to see you next time. Take care.

Contact John Cottrell

John Cottrell specializes in Executive Leadership Coaching. He helps successful leaders obtain what money cannot buy. This is renewed confidence; killing off imposter syndrome once and for all; or simply giving them the gift of being happy again. John leans on principles and methodologies including NLP, CBT, timeline therapy, and hypnotherapy, which all come together to generate transformational results through driven action. With over 11 years of experience within coaching, he is experienced in his craft, and his proven coaching techniques have seen him amass a long list of accolades and references.

Want to learn more about John Cottrell’s work at Breakthrough Leadership? Check out his website at https://breakthroughleadership.co.uk/

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